Ooof, what a sigh of relief it was to read this post. I felt so much lighter by the end, and my creeping overwhelm about the year ahead has dissipated. Thank you so much!!
Very sound advice. I remember a book several years ago that encouraged just the opposite-- a year of saying “yes”. I tried it (with some moderation) and finished the year exhausted, frustrated and underpaid. Of course, saying “yes”did open opportunities and relationships-- opportunities to do more crappy work for a whole cast of people with no budget and unrealistic demands.
The problem with saying “yes” all the time is that you’re often agreeing to help someone else achieve their dream-- leaving you too exhausted to pursue your own.
Despite the insistent pull between brain and heart, logic and illogical, I learned to go with my intuition. I step away from the situation for a bit, then I sit down for 10 minutes and I write about my feelings. That's how I find unwavering clarity. 🤗🫶🏻
I’m not always good at saying no, but with practice I’ve gotten a lot better at it! I really like your scripts, though, and how they can leave the door open--or not!
As always, Kate, you give us such sensible advice, telling us things we SHOULD know, but seldom remember in our "Oh, somebody please love us!" moods. My favorite line here is "Jobs won't love us back." I'll post that on my fridge as a reminder to be more careful with my time in 2024.
A few years back, when I found myself getting annoyed about all the asks that could potentially bite into my precious writing time, a phrase popped into my head. "Yes is the new no." I imagined myself wearing it on a tee shirt with my chin thrust out in defiance. Then it occurred to me that my annoyance was misplaced. That people will ask and it's up to me to say no. To be the grownup and look realistically at my personal balance sheet. To not feel the need to over explain my answer. It's liberating and oozing with self love to simply say thanks, but no. I love this post! Thank you, Kate.
Ooof, what a sigh of relief it was to read this post. I felt so much lighter by the end, and my creeping overwhelm about the year ahead has dissipated. Thank you so much!!
Very helpful insights. Thank you!
"Do not say yes out of fear."
7 words to live by right there.
Very sound advice. I remember a book several years ago that encouraged just the opposite-- a year of saying “yes”. I tried it (with some moderation) and finished the year exhausted, frustrated and underpaid. Of course, saying “yes”did open opportunities and relationships-- opportunities to do more crappy work for a whole cast of people with no budget and unrealistic demands.
The problem with saying “yes” all the time is that you’re often agreeing to help someone else achieve their dream-- leaving you too exhausted to pursue your own.
Thanks for a very useful post!
Despite the insistent pull between brain and heart, logic and illogical, I learned to go with my intuition. I step away from the situation for a bit, then I sit down for 10 minutes and I write about my feelings. That's how I find unwavering clarity. 🤗🫶🏻
The No's also apply to businesse's in general. Great post. Happy Holidays.
I’m not always good at saying no, but with practice I’ve gotten a lot better at it! I really like your scripts, though, and how they can leave the door open--or not!
"No is a complete sentence." - Jane Fonda.
Best thing I've heard in 2023.
Amen, sister! Strengthening this practice for a while now. It’s hardest for “accommodator ” like me!
Thanks for this gold, Kate! I’ll carry it with me.
I can feel how this can relate to more than just writing opportunities.
I’m learning how to wait then respond to offers or invitations. Rather than accept and acquiesce out of fear.
Sensible advice. But sometimes saying no is simply not an option, and not on the table to discuss!
As always, Kate, you give us such sensible advice, telling us things we SHOULD know, but seldom remember in our "Oh, somebody please love us!" moods. My favorite line here is "Jobs won't love us back." I'll post that on my fridge as a reminder to be more careful with my time in 2024.
Absorbing the wisdom here - thank you.
This could not be more spot on!! Thank you for the perfect reminder. Happy holidays. xx
I need this advice on a plaque or needlepoint, or maybe a tattoo.
A few years back, when I found myself getting annoyed about all the asks that could potentially bite into my precious writing time, a phrase popped into my head. "Yes is the new no." I imagined myself wearing it on a tee shirt with my chin thrust out in defiance. Then it occurred to me that my annoyance was misplaced. That people will ask and it's up to me to say no. To be the grownup and look realistically at my personal balance sheet. To not feel the need to over explain my answer. It's liberating and oozing with self love to simply say thanks, but no. I love this post! Thank you, Kate.