How Much More Can You Take?
On Fortitude and Books
Hi friends,
Here’s a roundabout way to get into today’s subject. My family is going to Italy soon. (Yay!) My husband thought it would be fun to show our seven year old the movie Gladiator, because we will be going to the Coliseum. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It was fine. We watched about half of it until it was time to watch basketball (tis the season) and our kid was meh about the movie. I was reminded of seeing it in the theater, my junior year of college, with the crew team while we were at the Dad Vail regatta in Philly. We left that movie saying strength and fortitude, like they do in the movie, and did it for months after. Before races, in the boathouse, in line at the keg. Except I discovered this weekend it’s strength and honor.
Maybe we said fortitude and were just wrong or it was some other inside joke. Maybe I remember it that way because we needed much more fortitude than honor to row those 2,000 meter races that weekend, and each one after that. Maybe fortitude is what everyone needs all the time. Maybe, (and most likely), my memory is bad.
We’ve talked about how things are hard right now, and we’ve probably talked about how hard things were other times, too. There’s never been a time when it was like gee, publishing a book is so easy right now!!! This industry is not for the faint of heart, but that’s not news to you.
So, where do you find the fortitude? How to you wake up and try again when another rejection comes in, when the editor passes, when the offer never lands, when the review is lukewarm? Anywhere but in publishing.
Publishing is not going to love you back. Publishing is not going to kiss your forehead. Publishing is not going to give you a Most Improved trophy. Publishing is a business that, unfortunately, can’t care about your feelings.
The people in publishing do, though. You find fortitude in those who’ve got your back—maybe your agent or editor or your writers group or Slack. You find fortitude by bitching about the stupidness of publishing with those who understand, and expressly NOT with those who DON’T understand because they will make hilariously off base suggestions and likely waste your time. But people, in general, will help you get through the tough times in publishing. Don’t hide your fears, worries, or failures. We all have them.
And the books. The books will help you through. Your books, my books, anyone’s books. Do you know what’s great? BOOKS! Books are everywhere. Books will save you. Books will smooth your worried brow. I know that books are the source of your worry (writing them, selling them, not selling them) and tbh, me too. But you know what brings me great, great joy? Books. All kinds of books. Don’t forget that. Find your comfort read and dive into that whenever you need a life raft.
And don’t forget the writing. Yes, writing is what got you into this mess, too. That fourth grade teacher who said you could be a writer one day. That librarian who gave you the keys to one thousand different doors. The first journal you ever cracked open. Geocities, blogs, tumblr, AO3. Those things haven’t gone anywhere (in spirit). That writing, and more, is there for you always, regardless of what publishing does, regardless of what other people say. What is written does not need to be published. You can selfishly keep that hidden away, or shared with only a chosen few. Publishing doesn’t even get to see most of the stuff you’ve written. Too bad for them.
To those who are struggling, hurting, losing faith, I know that a lot of this is cold comfort. Read a good book ha ha, Kate. Write down your feelings lol. Revolutionary advice. I know. I get it. But honestly, there’s no magic fix that you don’t already have. There’s nothing I can tell you that will give you any strength and fortitude you don’t already have. (I am not a Star Wars fan so I will not be making a reference to the Force here.) You just have to remember you have it. It gets lost sometimes among all the clutter or queries and reviews and emails and unknowns. But it’s always there.
Consider this your reminder. Strength and fortitude, friends.
OXOXOXO,
Kate
That was the digital hug we all needed. Grazie mille.
I'm sorry I just love this. We took our kids to Italy when the oldest was maybe 13 or 14? We were at Pompeii and he was all "wtf I can't get reception to watch "the Daily Show" ... and then in Rome, at The Coliseum .. we walked halfway around & he sat down. Why? "It's a circle, so it's the same all the way around." FORTITUDE, ohmygawd the fortitude. Parenting and Publishing, samesame. Some joy, lots of crap (more literally in the parenting sector than the other), and the absolute necessity of having good people around to shore up the foundations.