"Oh, You're a Writer?"
Or agent or editor or publicist or
Hi friends,
I’ve been refilling the well a bit over here at Agents & Books. Thanks for your patience with some service interruptions. ANYWHOO, today, let’s talk about what to say when people find out you are a writer and/or work anywhere near the book industry in any capacity, and they want you to read their book.
Let’s say you’re at a party or a family get-together or minding your business at a cafe or (ugh) stuck in a airplane seat next to someone chatty or literally anywhere in the world (or online) and someone asks you what you do? and you say you’re a writer, or an editor, or an agent, or anything tangentially related to the book industry. And they say Oh that’s great! I’ve written a book! It’s about <long description.> Can you take a look?
Cold sweat is running down the small of your back. Your heart is racing. You’ve been here before. You know how it ends. What do you say?
OR
Your heart is racing. This person wrote a book? How fast can you read it? Your pupils dilate and you can hardly contain yourself.
Whether you are chomping at the bit to read this stranger’s (or family member’s) book, or looking for the nearest exit, here are some scripts to help you be as kind as possible, while also not taking on work you don’t have time to do.1
When someone corners you and asks you to read their picture book/memoir/military history/treatise on the way things should be:
“Wow! That sounds fascinating! But I don’t work in that genre. It’d be like asking a plumber to fix your microwave!”
“It sounds like you need someone who can really devote a lot of time to your magnum opus. Let me recommend some developmental editors I know.”
“You know, I’ve heard you don’t actually need illustrations for your picture book, so you should probably take out those magazine collages. Have you read Agents & Books? It’s really helpful about this stuff, a subject on which I am not an expert!”
“Wow, that sounds fascinating! I would love to read it. Can you email it to me right now?”2
When you’re stuck and have to read it and you read it and it’s way, way, way not your jam.
“Oh wow, you’ve really put a lot of work into this! I can see it clearly on the page. I’m afraid, however, that I’m out of my depth in terms of giving you advice. I wouldn’t want to lead you down the wrong path.”
(For editors:) “Wow! What a world you’ve created here! You have a lot to be proud of. I don’t think I can help, though. At my company, you have to have agent representation before you submit, so I would start there. Have you read Agents & Books?”
“I’m afraid I have to bow out of my offer to read your manuscript. It deals with <X> and that’s a subject I cannot engage with. I’m sure others out there won’t have this issue. Best of luck!”
When you’ve actually read it and there’s something REALLY off about it, in a way that you cannot let slide.
“Hey, I wanted to get back to you about your book. Sorry it’s taken me so long to read it! I really liked <honest compliment.> It was really great! But I struggled with this aspect of it <big red flag.> I’ve found that readers, agents, and editors are really concerned with <big red flag.> I found this article <link> when I was struggling to understand it myself. Best of luck!”
“Wow! What a book! You’ve really done your research! I wanted to tell you, though, the things I’ve heard in my writer circles. Readers, agents, and editors are really concerned with <big red flag> and the way you’ve (not) addressed it might be a big hurdle for your work. A lot of my writer friends have found this article <link> helpful. Happy revising!”
“What a world you’ve created here! I’ve heard, though, that books in this genre are usually in <this word count range>. Have your read this post in Agents & Books about word counts?”
“Yeah, I hear you. It is hard to revise. I wish I could help you edit your work, but that’s something I do as part of my job and I can’t afford to do it for free. Here’s some freelance editors I know who might be able to help! <link>”
Wow! You’ve lived a rich life! I’m sure a lot of people can relate to your experiences. I hear writers in non-fiction often need a platform to sell their work to a big publisher. This post from Agents & Books was really helpful to me in understanding it all!”
Publishing and writing are opaque and mysterious fields, mostly because there’s no one way to do either of them. There are many paths to writing a book and many paths to publication. This only makes things more confusing, because of course everyone starts out thinking surely someone knows the secret and they can just tell me and all this will be much easier! The secret is there is no secret and no one is withholding it from anyone. The secret is keep trying. The secret is there are no shortcuts. The secret is you have to try a bunch of things until something sticks.
If you’re the writer who has foisted your book on strangers/family members, don’t feel bad. This can be among the bunch of things you try! But manage your expectations, and understand that you’re asking the other person to do quite a bit of work, and they might not be the right person to do it, if they can do it at all. Really and truly if that editor you know doesn’t do picture books, they do not know the first thing about how to get yours published. Even if their company publishes kids books! Really! They cannot help you! Especially if they work at a big publisher that only takes submissions from agents. And that writer with an agent you know, their agent might not represent your genre either. Your friend and/or their agent may know nothing about what makes a good mystery/memoir/self-help book. Take their polite decline with grace and try something else. It is not against the rules to ask for help. It is against the rules to put pressure on someone who is telling you they can’t help, for whatever reason they might have.
Diplomatically yours,
Kate
This is NOT the same as sending a query to agents through normal channels, or editors who take unagented submissions, or asking someone to beta read your book as a professional courtesy, or hiring a freelance editor. Those are professional relationships. I’m talking about things someone is asking as a favor.
It’s always possible that a random person you meet or know has written the very best book in the world!!! They’re out there! But, tbh, most of these scenarios are for when you are cornered by someone who hasn’t done much research and thinks you have the fast track to publication.
This really resonated with me: "This only makes things more confusing, because of course everyone starts out thinking surely someone knows the secret and they can just tell me and all this will be much easier! The secret is there is no secret and no one is withholding it from anyone. The secret is keep trying." It's so tempting to just follow a path and then be rewarded with the published book in the end, but it just doesn't work like that!
Two things I've learned from years of being approached:
1.) Sometimes it's worth it to shift the conversation to bigger-picture stuff—asking someone where they are on their publishing journey and/or what they really want to accomplish by publishing a book. In some cases, especially with children's books, some people just want something they can share with family and friends but think they have to pursue traditional publishing in order to do that, and they don't yet realize how much publishing is a business. If you can gauge their level of seriousness (and maybe help them figure it out for themselves too), that can be useful in redirecting them. If I have to take a moment to pass along any kind of advice or resource, I want to know I'm at least giving them something appropriate for where they're at.
2.) I give a hard no to anyone asking for advice on behalf of a friend. I know people are just trying to be helpful but it just never works out for anyone involved. And whenever I tell folks that their friends can reach out to me directly (so I can figure out where the hell they're at), they almost never do. I think that means either Friend of Aspiring Writer is barking up the wrong tree, or Aspiring Writer isn't motivated enough to hit me up. In other words, not worth anyone's time.