Running on Empty
Sorry to get that song stuck in your head
Hey friends,
It’s been a hectic few weeks. I’ve been to Florida and back to help a family member make a big move. We’ve had house guests (always wonderful, always a little stressful). Some incredible things are happening with my clients. It’s my kid’s Spring Break, so childcare is disrupted. Next week I’m RECORDING MY AUDIO BOOK!!! My piles of reading and queries and emails are not getting smaller. In helping my family member move, I suddenly want to GET RID OF EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE. As you’ve also probably noticed, the world is on fire. So yeah, stress has been high over here at A&BHQ, and it probably is at your HQ, too. Here’s how I’m dealing with that, with an eye on how I am keeping writing and creativity front of mind.
Rest.
Duh. When you’re stressed, you have to rest. This isn’t rocket science. But I’ve realized I need little pockets of rest throughout the day, or I will burn out. That means everything from staring at the wall for five minutes to realizing that scrolling social media while I eat lunch is NOT RESTFUL. That reading for 30 minutes (even work-reading, which luckily for me is often restful) is better than trying to eek out ten more responses to emails. That putting down the phone and doing literally anything else at the end of the day is restful. Yeah, yeah you already know you should cutout screens and go to bed early and take a walk and all that. Sometimes I can do that and sometimes I cannot. But what’s worked for me recently is literally taking five, a smoke break without the smoke, a breather. Early and often. I get really good ideas just staring at the wall, tbh.
Seeing live theatre. (aka Finding Awe.)
This is not a recommendation for you to drop everything, spend a couple thousand dollars on flights, hotel, food, and tickets, and see a Broadway show. I mean, if you can and want to, I am happy to give you recommendations! But seeing live theatre, for me, brings me awe. It makes me stop and pay attention (and turn off my phone) and watch these spectacular humans preform live eight times a week and reveal in their talent. Even when the show isn’t particularly good, these performers are giving it their all. For me. I like to sit in that, appreciate that, and know that I too can do my little tasks, live and on stage at my desk everyday. It helps me remember to create something, everyday, however I can. It’s not the same, but it helps. Find the thing that brings you awe, and do that. Remember awe exists and you can have it, too.
Read for yourself.
My job is people telling me what to read. Has been for twenty years. It’s constant homework. Luckily, I never had a problem with homework as a kid. But it has turned something I love (reading) in to actual work. So I make a point to have something I’m reading just for me at all times. It’s often an audiobook, but that works great because my eyes are often tired from reading and writing all day. My Me Books are totally separate from what I want to read to keep up with the market or my client-reading or my potential-client-reading, and there are no rules about what those books can be. Apologies to my husband who reads amazing books and wants me to read them too and I never do because it feels like added homework. (He has such great taste in books! That’s why I married him!) Keeping choice central to what I consume for fun is central to my mental health. You can do this, too. You don’t have to watch or read or listen to everything that everyone else is. You can consume whatever media you want. The things I’ve discovered because I’ve followed my own interests has fed so many projects I want to do and have done. Be selfish with what art you consume. No one else can tell you what to do.
Make peace with your current pace.
If you’re as stressed out as I am, you’re probably not writing much. I’m not and I want to so badly. This is partially Shiny New Project syndrome, and partially I want to write my next book. But that is just not in the cards for me right now and I have to make peace with that. I made such grand plans in January to have like a quarter of a novel finished by now and welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. That has not happened. I hate it! But it is ok. It is what it is. There is only so much I can do right now and this won’t be forever. In the meantime, I’m just making notes. I’m capturing ideas however I can and will use them whenever time allows. It will not always be like this, and I know that. I will not let what I could be doing or what I could have done take over my thoughts. Today is not forever. I can try again tomorrow.
The only thing we can rely on is change. There will be easier times to write and harder ones. These are the things that keep me grounded and reasonable when I start to spiral that I should have done X already or why am I not doing Y. Sometimes there just isn’t the juice to do all the things you want to do. That’s ok. Do what you can to keep the juice you have. Fine awe. Stare at the wall. Read what you want. Protect your peace so you can both do what you have to do, and also what you want to do.
Be well, friends.
XOXOOXOX,
Kate
I've heard the stare-at-the-wall time described as "blue sky time" -- time for thinking outside of the usual borders of our thoughts. (Though the sky hasn't been especially blue around here lately!) It can be hard to make the connection between what seems like the least-productive activity (staring at nothing) and its true value of returning us to our selves as sentient, thinking beings who are not hijacked by soul-sucking productivity demands. The struggle is real. Thanks for sharing this.
Brava! Rest is not something you earn, it is a biological imperative. Just like I don’t have to earn the right to pee… its going to happen at some point and life is nicer for everyone if I choose the time and place in response to my body’s signals.