The Myth of Everyone Says So

Maybe Everyone isn't Everyone

Hello friends,

I don’t know what’s going on in your astrological charts, but mine (☀️ Taurus, ⬆️ Capricorn, 🌝 Leo) has been looking pretty good lately. Some nice stuff has happened and I’m not going to jinx it by telling you what, but let’s just say the inbox has been less stressful these days. I hope the same is true for you.

One thing that it always nice to see in the inbox is a note, from someone you know, like a friend or colleague or family member, or (and sometimes this is even better) from someone you don’t know that says something like:

This should be a book! This is so good! You should write a book!

Isn’t it great to hear that! Someone likes your writing! (Or comic or poem or research or meme or whatever). Swoon. Writing is cold and lonely and it’s wonderful when someone notices your hard work, your turn of phrase, your genius. The people sending you these notes, whether they are related to you or not, are sincere. They like your stuff! They get nothing from this interaction (I assume) except your thanks and the possibility that you’ll expand on the thing they like in a format they like: books. This is win-win.

Except…………. Well, what do they know? What do they know about what makes a book?

I won’t go in to how to know if the thing you wrote is a book or not (I did that here and here). I can’t tell you that, and neither can that nice person who sent you a compliment. I can, however, tell you how to enjoy, take to heart, and still not put too much stock into these kinds of things so it doesn’t cloud the real work you need to do to craft a book out of whatever creative thing you’re doing.

So, what should you do when you get a message like this?

1. Bask

It’s wonderful to get compliments! Enjoy it! It’s true! You ARE amazing. The person who sent it to you is a genius as well and has excellent taste. It’s a great idea to put messages like this in a place where you can see them to remind yourself of your excellence in those moments when you’re a little down. Resist all urges to discredit the sender or talk yourself out of enjoying this moment. I said bask, dammit. Bask.

2. Consider the source

Your parent and uncle and best friend from college are wonderful people who love you and support you in all you do. They genuinely love your work and their opinion matters. They might not be as objective as, say, an editor or agent or critic or a stranger stumbling upon your article online. That doesn’t mean the strangers know better than your close relations, but strangers aren’t predisposed to liking your stuff. You might put a little asterisk next to praise that comes from those who already love you. It counts. It’s real. But their finger is just a little bit on the scale.

Again, just because a compliment comes from a stranger, doesn’t mean it’s more meaningful or true, but it might be a little more objective. If that compliment comes from someone with power to take action on their words—an agent, a book¹ or magazine editor, well, then pay special attention. We don’t throw those words out willy nilly because we know what it means to writers to hear it, and we might have to put our money where our mouth is when we do.

3. Follow Up!

If you’ve gotten this note from an editor or an agent, follow up! If it comes over social media, message back or send a note to their work email address (which is likely pretty easy to find) and thank them for their kind words and then tell them if you have plans to make it a book! Are you working on a collection of short stories or essays? Was this a novel excerpt? Part of your dissertation? Tell them! It might spark a conversation, or they might respond with Great to hear! When you’re done, send it my way! Or it might spark a larger conversation about the scope/focus of your work. If you’re not ready to send/pitch anything yet, it’s ok to let your response sit until you are ready. The goodwill won’t evaporate, I promise

4. Be Honest About What WON’T Happen

One email from one person, or even half dozen emails from a good handful of people, will not automatically turn into a book deal. An email from an agent won’t automatically turn into an offer of representation in your DMs. An editor is not going to offer you a book deal out of thin air. It doesn’t happen like that. That doesn’t mean it will never happen, but don’t inflate the impact of these notes may have on your career. It’s never as easy as that, lol.

5. Don’t Let These Lead You Down a Path You Don’t Want to Go

Just because someone says you should make something into a book, doesn’t mean you have to or should. Even if you know you want to write a book one day and you don’t know what that is and it’s easier to have someone tell you what to write than deal with the scariness of figuring that out on your own, doesn’t mean you have do the thing everyone (“everyone”) says you should do. If you don’t want to, don’t. Those people aren’t right just because they aren’t you. Trying to write a book you don’t want to write makes it four thousand times harder to do. Trust me.

6. Don’t Over Sell It, To Yourself or Others

Let me tell you—I have to make sure not to do this one myself. Many of you have reached out and said you think this newsletter should be a book (I agree! I’m trying!!) but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe it shouldn’t be. Or maybe it works best as a newsletter or books about writing are too niche or whatever other reasons it’s hard to get a book off the ground. Those notes mean the world to me! Keep sending them! But they don’t mean much in a query letter (either to me as a writer or an agent) and they won’t sway anyone by including it. Not only should you avoid saying “my kids love the bedtime stories I tell them” in your query letter, you should also resist adding “everyone tells me I should write a book.” Why? c.f. this whole post.

I know, I know. I’ve totally ruined a nice thing and there are so few nice things about writing and trying to get published. I’m sorry! Take the compliments to heart!!!! Just don’t consider them an unimpeachable focus group.

XOXOXOOXOX,

Kate

1. Their response may be Great! Have your agent send it to me when you get one! Don’t be mad if they say this. Lots of editors cannot review work unless it’s sent by an agent.