We Know What You Want to Hear

And Why We Can't Say It

Hello friends!

There is an art to writing rejection and acceptance letters, to authors and to just about anyone, tbh. You want to be kind but honest, vague, because it’s not an edit letter, but give at least a hint of a reason, and make it clear that it’s not up for discussion. (Please, please, please remember not to respond to rejections.)¹ Agents and editors never forget there is a human on the other end of that email, even when the rejections feel cold and impersonal. It’s a skill we work hard to master.

I know some of you are like I don’t care what they say I just want to hear back at all!!! And yes, we know, we’re sorry, it’s so tough right now. You think you’re having trouble finishing that book that’s been on your nightstand for six months, imagine how we feel with towers and towers of manuscripts and emails on our devices and people waiting to hear what we think!!?? I mean, you don’t have to feel too sorry for us, because we are doing this for a job, but still. It’s tough out there for everyone. Agents and editors are not taking months and months to get back to you just to spite you. I promise.

I wrote a long time ago, unlocked now for everyone to read, about why I can’t give you personal feedback when I pass on your work. And when I went back to read that post, I thought shit did I already write about this? Am I repeating myself? But I want flip it around a bit and tell you why we can’t tell you what we know you want to hear. And we know, boy do we know.

We know that writer hopes we’ll say THIS IS AMAZING AND IT WILL SELL FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. When I get rejections from editors—which, let me remind you happens several times a week if not everyday!²—I also want them to say THIS IS AMAZING AND HERE IS A MILLION DOLLARS. It’s disappointing when I do not see that! But I have learned to deal with the disappointment, brush myself (and my client) off, and keep going. Because if you stop, then you’re never going to get a book deal, are you?

Outside of a million dollar offer, we also know writers want us to tell them the definitive and unassailable answer to these questions. (And here’s why I can’t answer them.)

Is my book good?

Your book is probably good! But, there are a lot of definitions of good. To which audience is it good? How does it measure up to the rest of the genre? On what scale is it good? Very enjoyable read or gonna win a Pulitzer? Is it better than the last thing that came out about this topic?

Good is a big category. I’m listening to an audiobook right now that I know is not objectively a good book (the writing is clunky! the story is predictable!) but it is good because it’s about a subject I like and a genre I enjoy! So I would tell this author her book is good, and tell my friends I really enjoyed it, but it might not be good like she wants it to mean. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I still bought the book! It’s still good, to me.

Am I a good writer?

See above. Are you the greatest writer of all time? Probably not! Neither am I! 99% of us are not! Writing is good for many reasons—clarity, prose style, innovation, brevity, maximalism, SO MANY METRICS to measure good. So yeah, you are a good writer. You wrote a whole book! So many people do not do that! That takes skill and endurance and fortitude! Are you the next <enter your most valued writer here>? Probably not, and you are in very good company in that respect. Neither is anyone else you know.

Will my book sell?

Here’s my friend the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ again! Agents and editors don’t have a crystal ball. I might have a hunch if a book will sell, I better have after 17 years of this, but I can’t guarantee that. And, be honest, you don’t want an agent who comes right out and tells you the truth in a rejection letter. I do tell my clients I can’t guarantee their book will sell, but I also tell them why I think it will, as well as the things we might be up against. I just can’t guarantee any sale. Sorry! I wish I could! I am certainly not going to tell a writer in a rejection letter that I know a book won’t sell. I don’t know for sure, I’m only one opinion, and I’m not a monster!

Is my idea any good? (or new or innovative or different or whatever adjective you want here because you know what I’m going to say about good)?

Your idea is probably pretty good. If it wasn’t then you probably wouldn’t have finished writing the book. Bad (or boring or stale or underdeveloped) ideas tend to be hard to write because there isn’t enough there there. Whether your idea is going to set the world on fire is yet to be seen (c.f. my lack of crystal ball), and maybe that won’t even be clear until it publishes because who knows what kind of world we will have by then? Ain’t it grand? It’s natural to worry if what you’re writing is going to matter. I thought that this very morning when I was writing my own thing! But I just think about my favorite line from my favorite Sondheim musical, Sunday in the Park with George (about creativity and vision and life and heartbreak!): “Stop worrying if your vision is new. Let others make that decision—they usually do.” (“Move On”)³

Will You Be My Agent/Editor?

This is the one we can answer! It’ll be yes or no! We know you want it to be yes. We almost always have to say no. Those odds are not good, I am (also) sorry to say. I implore you to not think about odds when it comes to writing because statistically none of it looks good! I can’t change that and there’s very little you can do to change that except keep playing the game (i.e. write more/other/different books). Publishing is not baseball and you can’t moneyball it. Odds probably weren’t good that you even met your partner or got your job or live in your city or sat next to your now best friend in 7th grade science lab—when you think about the overall odds. Fuck odds. Write your book. Hopefully one of us will be lucky enough to your agent or editor one day.

I know it’s tough, friends. Stay strong. Keep writing, and good luck if you’re doing NaNoWriMo. (I’m not doing NaNo but I’m also not NOT doing NaNo.)

XOXOXOXOXOX,

Kate

1. No one will fault you for responding to a rejection with a thank you, but they also won’t remember in the long run. It’s fine. A rejection is not a present, and you don’t have to send a card.

2. This is normal. I send out projects to way more editors than are going to offer on the book, which is the whole point! You never know who is going to say yes and it only takes one.

3. 🔥🔥🔥 Mandy Patinkin 🔥🔥🔥