What I Say to Writers Who Pitch Me at Conferences

And What I Don't

Hi friends,

I’ve been to a few conferences this year, and I’m doing a few more in the next twelve months or so. Part of any conference gig for an agent is taking pitches—where authors pay the conference to schedule a meeting with me where they tell me about their book—and I…listen to the authors. I’ve talked about this a little here and here, but that was along time ago, so let’s do it again.

First off, I don’t think you need to meet me in person to get me to be your agent. In fact, I think that is the least effective way to go about it. It’s not like a job interview, for either of us. I pick clients by reading their stuff. I don’t read stuff well in a ten minute window, live, in person, while someone watches. It’s fun to meet writers, but this is not a great way to actually get an agent.

What it can be great for is asking an agent questions directly! You get the opportunity to pick my brain! You can ask (just about) anything you want! Do you care about typos in query letters? (No.) How do you feel about the romantasy market right now? (¯\_(ツ)_/¯) Do I have to draw the pictures if I want to sell a picture book? (No.) There could be this thing you’ve always wanted to know but don’t know how to google it and if you’re going to be at a conference and have the means, you can sit down with an agent and talk about it. A consultation! Not an interview.

BUT, if you want to pitch your book to an agent, which is fine and can be valuable in and of itself, these are the most common things I ask writers when they pitch me at conferences. This should help guide you as to whether you want to/need to/should sign up for a pitch, or how to prepare in the future.

Is your book complete?

It’s really important for me to know if you’re done writing your book (or book proposal) yet. If I love your pitch and you’re not done yet, then I have to wait a good while until before I can read it. I don’t want to read the first three chapters if I can’t read the last three, too. I don’t want to see your rough outline for your book, if you don’t have the proposal/sample chapters ready. I can’t sell a partial manuscript and I can’t sell an outline. Many people pitch before they’re done. It’s not illegal. But it’s not a good use of anyone’s time.

What’s the climax of your story?

When I find an author is struggling to tell me their plot or thesis, I often ask this to direct them to what happens in their book, instead of what it’s about. If you’re talking to me about the deep dragon lore, but the book hinges on whether the Queen destroys the castle or not, tell me about the Queen and the castle, not the dragons. Many writers tell me why they wrote a book, instead of what that book is about. This also helps people see when there isn’t a climax to their story, and that is a very important thing to know.

Is this the book you want to talk about for the next 2-5 years?

Some people ask me if they should write a book about X, often non-fiction, or if they should write the romance or picture book idea they think is super marketable, because they think this is their quickest/easiest path to publication. I try to get them to think about the day after that book comes out. How much do you want to be in the world of that topic or genre? Do you want to talk about other books on that topic or in that genre, or do you just want to get a book deal so the door is open and you can then write the books you really want to write. (n.b. it doesn’t work that way.) You don’t just publish a book and move on to your next one. You will talk about that book a lot before and after it comes out.

How long is your book? Does it need to be that long?

There is no perfect or single correct word count for a book, but I can tell a lot about a book just from its word count and genre. Your 50,000 word adult science fiction novel is probably too short. Your 350,000 word YA novel is really about 4 books in one. This isn’t just about the number, but about patterns of writing and learning to write I’ve seen over many years. Sometimes books are long or short! But when they deviate from the norm, there’s gotta be a good reason why, and one that’s not I didn’t know what else to write or I didn’t want to edit anything out.

Is a book the best container for your story?

The best container for your story might not be a book. It might be an article, a newsletter, a blog post, or a podcast. It might be a series of photos on Instagram, but not a book. The most effective place to share your story so that it can help others in your situation might be on online forum, possibly insulated from the stress, scrutiny, or liability that comes with mainstream publishing. You might write it to write it and that might be all you need to do. Trade publishing is not the end goal of all writing. It’s one path that may or may not work for you or your story.

What’s in it for the reader?

You know what you want to put in a book, but what does the reader want? You might have 400 amazing pictures of hummingbirds and 98 fantastic recipes for angel food cake but that doesn’t mean those two things belong in a book together. You know you want to tell your story, but where is the reader that’s drawn to that? What does the reader take away from your work that reflects their experience? How does your book talk to the reader instead of at the reader?

Why would you choose to read your book?

How do you choose a book to read? If you were browsing a bookstore and saw your book, what would draw you in? The title? The (potential) cover? The enticing back cover copy? If you knew nothing about someone with your same story, what would draw you in/show credibility/earn your trust? I know I’m answering questions with questions here but one of the most helpful things we can do as writers is remember to consider our books from the reader’s point of view.

What I don’t say:

• I can definitely sell your book.

• You’ll never get published.

• I want to offer you representation right this minute.

• You’re destined to be a best seller.

• This is the best idea I’ve ever heard.

• This is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.

• You are the best at pitching books.

• You get an A in pitching books.

• You should quit while you’re ahead.

• I can tell you’re a real writer and all these other people are just pretenders.

I maybe some of these things will turn out to be true! But I certainly can’t tell after just a ten-minute pitch session. There’s just no way I can know in that short amount of time. Also, I’m not a jerk. I know it’s stressful to meet with agents but I’m not going to be mean to you! I can’t instantly make all your dreams come true, but I’m not going to crush them, either.

Take care, my friends. Keep writing.

OXOXOXOX,

Kate